PicCollage

That no one even tagged him in, he's not a challenge to drag

so prepare for an attack and by that I mean cringe

Cause this mother******* bout to get dragged by his fringe

First things first you're freakishly tall it's weird you look like a noodle (true)

You've got hair that was cool in 2007 and wet you look like a poodle (hobbit!)

Throw in a really annoying posh voice and yep that's dan (posh)

You're what would've happened if Winnie The Pooh fûçkêd Slenderman

You procrastinate making videos, cause being judged is scary? (ooh)

You're so close to being forgotten the hates imaginary (woah)

The only reason you get views is you're another white guy

That people ship with his friend 'cause they think it's kawaii

Oh Reasons why dan's a fail (Yay!) I'll give you some

You never tweet you overeat all you do is cry and sleep

You're jokes are sh**posts and memes with no originality (uh huh)

Your family's sad you flopped your law degree at university

And anything embarrassing that's from your past you just delete

You were vegan for like three weeks then what? You missed meat?

Wow I'm so impressed by your clear moral integrity. You try so hard to be peaceful and diplomatic

But you can't even make toast without tumblr saying you're problematic

I could go on there's more if I check. There's more things on this list than chins on your neck

On your birthday you joked you were a quarter way to death

A 100? Yeah when getting out of bed makes you out of breath (real)