{click} "My sickness felt like home. Now I'm left homeless." My own quote. I had a horrible day today. Academics are so hard sometimes. What's the point? School is teaching children how to cheat and lie and fail, but never how to succeed. The school system itself is so warped. I came home, did work, and then off to a therapy session. I cried for the third time today. I miss my illness. I used to feel special. No one could love me for who I am, but I thought my pain and scars made me special. But now my pain has been stolen and my scars are fading, and my purpose is fading with them. Without them, I'm no one. My sickness made me special. Now I'm just a lifeless face. Idk, I know it's attention seeking, and that it's selfish, but humans are built of envy and greed, so what would anyone expect? I'm so disappointed in myself and everything I do. I don't even know how to proceed anymore.

Also, someone please listen to Ballerina by Nicole 12. I can't wrap my head around it. I need someone to talk it over with.Just remember it deals with abusè and could be triggering.

no,the illness didn't make you special,the scars and the pain either,what made you special was yourself,bc you're such a cute human being and you'll always be my fren

your scars and illness were only a small part of you, what makes you you is so many other wonderful things. your passion to help people when they're down, your encouragement, your beautiful quotes that are occasionally slipped into your captions. your scars were just a piece of your story, only a chapter. and now you're moving on to another chapter that may be difficult or cause you to struggle. things have to get worse before they get better, we say that a lot but it's true. if you can make it through this chapter in the book that's your life, then you will move on to greater things. you'll move on to happiness and yes you may still struggle, but you started a new chapter. you're starting fresh, a new chance lies in front of you, and I suggest you take it. sending all of my Internet hugs to you 💕 I'm always here to talk.

do u like paramore?

I'm sorry I'm being really rude

don't be disappointed in your self and every day is a new day never look back at yesturday because it's gone❤️

(sorry if I'm not helping)

I get that, I was just talking about how annoying it is for people who harm severely to see people with tiny nicks posting, then complaining about how much they hurt themselves, as in trying to be more attention seeking. people can complain all they want, it's chill, I'm here to lean on, but once someone goes the direction of attention seeking it pîsses me off. I just have bad psychological problems with minimizing and hiding my problems and being tough even if I'm dying inside, I developed affect face so I cant show my real emotions since I care what others think so much and I don't want to yet them or for them to hurt me. so with that complex, it makes a little picture post of little tiny nicks and over the top complaining infuriating. idk if it makes any sense, but. I mean, I'm still angry a year later about my brother complaining one day how he "almost committed suicide" and that mom and dad should have done more, and I was like a.) bITÇH did you have a møTherfÙckinG plaN and b.) blaming something he DIDNT even try to share on others was his own damñ fault. Just seeing someone making a mountain out of a relatively large molehill, but still not a mountain, is a bad trigger for me. it makes me really upset. that's why I need to post that, because everyone I see something like that, and then I look at myself, I feel like telling someone "bîtch wHy are you complaining about "how much you've hurt yourself?"" if it's something about how a person wants to stop, it's cool, but basically- it's all triggering and minimizing and I wanted to speak up about it cos I see it too often lately.

and my brother grabbed a knife in front of mom and dad, so- that's called attention seeking in my book. It still makes me angry. he wasn't close to suicide at all, he was just having some ideation and the moment mommy steps it it's "I'm gonna kill myself! it's your fault!"

I'm fûcking upset lol; that's why I posted, because it does make me feel this upset and triggered and bleh.

thank you fren!💜

Before You Start Your Day by tøp, Mrs. Potato Head by Melanie Martinez (I know you don't like Melanie but it's what I could think of), My Face by Dodie Clark? idk if those would work but I tried to help

i understand this. i feel like i've lost a piece of myself after i started taking my medicine and the sadness goes away. it's not completely gone, though. i just really miss it and idk why??

aw thank you

i know, i know. and i promise i am trying to be safe about it. i just.. idk i know in some ways it's not good, but in many other ways it is. when i look down and see the scars, i sort of find a sense of peace when i see the lines that i put there because i was battling a thing at the time.

420 blaze it

and thx m8

Hmmm perhaps you'll like Cyberbully Mom Club or Teen Suicide. They're like the only bands I can think of off the top of my head that are kind of what you're looking for but they're really good so yes give them a try. But if I find any more bands I think you may like I'll let you know :)

I love MIW too but I actually haven't listened to them for a while oOps. I need to start listening to them again tbh

IDEK MAYBE THEY DID BUT I HAVE NO IDEA ŁMAO

OKAY YEAH I LOOKED IT UP AND THEY ACTUALLY HAVE THEY TOURED WITH ELVIS DEPRESSEDLY WHo I've actually never heard of. BUT THAT'S COOL IG

Yeah I love MIW. I saw them nearly a year ago and then forgot like two months later

Yeah, I saw them in January! New Year's Day supported and I ended up meeting them

yEs do you like them???

Okay but that is my favourite lyric of all time I'm

I'm glad you like them though you're my new best friend

Heck yea #Slothrustsquad

It's Sloth-Rust. I think. I haven't really looked into how it's pronounced but that's the way I've been saying it so

I've been putting together a list of band recommendations as I said I would do so yeah I'll post that like soon probably. So yeah hopefully there might be a few bands on there you might like

Their music videos are my aesthetic tbh

I'm fine

thanks fren

yeah i was the one who posted about the late night feelers Spotify list! if you go onto google and type in "jesse cale late night feelers spotify playlist" the second option should be a link to his tweet. if you click on it, it should bring you to it and then you click the link in his tweet, which should bring you to spotify :) (w0W that was a lot😂)

but the stuff their saying kind of makes sense

"first off MISS we're gonna need you to understand that this whole trans thing is a lie every thing about it is a lie. You're a GIRL you'll always be a GIRL no matter what you try to do you can't change genetics. You're mentally ill that's why you think you're a boy but tell me this why don't have a pënis if you're a boy we're here to help you out of this confusion so you can be normal like the rest of us"

i dont feel like going into full detail but

thanks m8, sadly no my parents won't let me cut it that short but as long as it gets to be shorter irdc

IDK WHAT YOURE CONGRATULATING ME FOR BUT THANK YOU

he's not my boyfriend!!!!

nothing's official yet, we still don't know

thanks man :)

I don't even remember lol

it's true though. they think everyone's gonna need to know all of this, but the only chance I have in life is joining a band. I don't want to be an engineer or a doctor.