This is really good! I love the characters that you created and just from reading this little segment of the story I already feel invested in their story. You did a really good job of setting the scene which made this really easy and enjoyable to read! I also really like the dialogue that you included. It’s pretty hard for me to come up with suggestions for this one since this is such a small piece of the story, so I’ll stick to a pretty generic piece of advice that I think could make this even better than it already is, which is just to include more descriptions. I absolutely love all of the descriptions that you have and they probably are enough, but I definitely wouldn’t object to seeing more descriptions like of the father or the situation of the brother. Overall, this is really good, thank you so much for entering. I enjoyed reading this! :)