I'm going to be that one mom who makes up elaborate lies for everything.

Example: Why do you see lightning and then hear the thunder?

In many years: You see, the thunder and lightning are separate entities. The force created to make lightning is so strong it starts a chain reaction which kills a person. That person screams and the police come racing over. The Dr. Who comes to straighten things out (because only important people get struck by lightning), and then he erases everyone's memories of the event.

Child: But where does the thunder come from?

Me: When the Tardis fârtś as it leaves.

Child: ...

Me: Never eat at Taco Bell. Ever.

Child: Daaaaaaad! Tell me the real reason why I hear thunder after lightning!

Father: Is your mother filling your head with lies again?

Me: Shhhhhh.... They'll never know....

You've never watched Doctor Who have you?