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America: * has trump in office * Kathleen: FÛCK

ME TOO

ALMOST EVERY KID I KNEW WAS OBSESSED

not to mention the trading!!!!!!

fûck

there there

also remember those rubber bands that were different colors and people used them to make bracelets and shît

rainbow loom

or fidget cubes

" these darn youngins with their spinners and fidget slime!!!!!!"

me too

like you know what my username was when I first joined pc ( this was a different account btw)

rainbowloomatics for fûck sake

also loomatics was a play on lunatics( I THOUGHT I WAS CLEVER I WAS 11)

shame surrounds my past

I WAS 11 FOR GOD SAKE!!! CHILDREN ARE FÛCKING STUPID??!!!!!!

* punches tiny me*

honestly I despise pre-middle school me

forgiveness, can you imagine?

oh I don't

maybe because that's when I came to term with my gayness but I am actually fond of my seventh grade year

also Obama was still president so that's a plus

oh my god

I figured out I was lesbian in sixth grade

so the first person I came out to was on my birthday ( October 11)

so I think I figured it out around September???

sixth grade me: you can't tell anyone I'm gay!!!!!

me now: 1800- I-like-gals

honestly pre middle school me was so weird

like okay when I was about 8 my cousin who's gay explained what gay and lesbian meant

and still my brain ignored the entire concept of homosexuality

like I wouldn't even say the word gay

Jesus Christ

it's such a trip

me too dude

yep

I'm here if you want a hug

* hugs you * what else do you require emotionally

ALL BY HIMSELF

you're right it's bot at all fair

honestly I'm so glad Michael didn't get squipped

boi has enough anxiety

okay so there's this one tumblr where it's one of those ask blogs

and so whoever ran this blog also had the canon of Michael being a trans boy

AND HIS SQUIP CALLED HIM BY HIS DEAD NAME THAT WAS THE WORST PART

LIKE JESUS SQUIP YOURE NONBINARY!!!

I CANT REMEMBER FÛCK

" squipocrite" oh my god

honestly tho, I love the angst ™

but canonically it makes no sense , not just because the squip is nb but they're also LGBT inclusive

like more likely Michael's squip would try to help him act more like a guy ( in stereotypical terms)

honestly I want that au tho

maybe who knows????

alternative

so mike's squip tries to get him to act " masculine ™"

squip: punch him

mike: why?

squip: it's the way of the dudebros™

and I want it to be comedic

WAIT ABOUT THE BLOG

I THINK ITS CALLED ASKMIDDLEBOROUGH

* laughs maniacally *

also what's up homô

same

also did you find the blog

nice

hello?

dude ..... look at my comments from last night

* bangs pans together*

tbh I love not being straight

show me

coolio

oh good

I was talking about the blog name one but okay I'm glad we agree

there's another blog where Michael's squip is Emma Watson

I mean... same dude

hey who do you think my squip would be?

based on my personality

angst™

go ahead, mate

jasmine cephas jones

I admire Sappho and linmanuel miranda

fav fictional characters? y'all are gonna wanna sit down

heathers: heather chandler

Harry Potter: mcgonagall

be more chill: Michael mell

pjo: hazel

my own: Kathleen Araquinn

wicked: elphaba

that's about it

don't kink shame me

say what?

👍

okay your turn

celebrity crush?

I am here

who do you admire/look up to

or person you like platonically

I'll wait, mate

good choices

fav fictional character(s)?

gwash is the dad friend™

VERONICA!!! OPEN THE DOOR PLEASE

anyone else?

Im assuming that's all the characters

okay nvm

* waits*

okay

...

your squip is linmanuel Miranda playing Hamilton in act 2 ( like around say no to this to blow us all away specifically)

I warned you

hold on I'll be back in a few minutes

like about 10

I'm back ho

there there

do you need a hug?

* hugs you *

don't worry I'm the mom friend ™

do you need anything else

what kind of tea?

* builds a pillow fort with blankets too*

hot or cold?

* boils tea*

do you want me to punch squip

* beats squip's aśs*

anything else I can do

* pats your head* I can get ice cream too

which flavor

* grabs cookie dough *

what happened

oh shît

I'm posting pictures of puppies if that helps

anything else I should post

here's some tissues

there there

do you wanna watch cheesy 80s movies

tubular

which one?

also I'm listening to so big/so small

coolio

* pops it into the vcr* remember when people had those

* laughs* but I am cool

I'm the cool gay mom™

* high fives you * how are you feeling

you there?