Why are you wishing to be anything other that yourself? No offense, but it's a huge waste of time to want to look different. I've been where you are, and it doesn't work. Also, I'm sure the real you is better that you give yourself credit for, so be happy with who you are.

chin up mate. some things just are and there's no sense in dwelling on them🙂

I feel the same

you are amazing just the way you are because God made you that way I know there is something special about you you just got to let it shine