I'm not happy with who I am right now. I'm not happy with my appearance, my personality, my friends, my grades, my skin, how I spend my time, how I talk to other people, etc... I'll get out of this phase eventually. But for now I'm just not happy with myself and the situation I always seem to put myself. I'm an introvert but I need attention because I can't stand to think alone for hours. And my friends haven't answered my texts for over 50 hours now and my dad is out of town which means my mom has to put all of her focus on my mentally disabled sister. Which leaves me to think in my stressed mind for the last 2 days. I don't know what to do anymore. I just want to lie on my bed and do nothing. And I can't figure out why. I haven't enjoyed summer at all, and actually I desperately need school to start. I desperately need routine, and attention. Which school will give me. I can't stand my mind anymore. The days of summer are just mushing into this one horrible blob of terrible. I need to tell my parents about my friends situation. I think I've actually figured out what's making me so sad and bored. I'm bottling up these emotions and i need to erupt. I need to let them all out. But i know my friends will just take one sentence out of context and use it against me and I'm too scared about what my parents reaction will be. And finally summer reading. I've read one book, and I have one more to read. But I can't make myself do it. Every time I pick up the book I just sob. And I don't know why. Why is my brain so messed up. Why can I not just have normal feelings like my normal friends. Why was I born this way. Why do I have a terrible brain.

*hugs* honestly, I don't know how to respond. I'm just glad you let it out, even if it was a little or not. you are beautiful whether you think you are or not. and if you're 'friends' would do that to you, I don't think they're actually your friends; at least that's my opinion ^_^". just know you're not alone💜

you're welcome😊and yeah I have a friend who's kinda like that with her main friend group. and I'm glad I helped, you're welcome💜

I'm so sorry caroline 💗 i don't know how to help but im proud of you for telling us how you feel . it'll get better eventually, I promise

*hugs* I know it's not the same as real life but we're here, and if there's anything you're bottling up that you desperately need to tell anyone, feel free to give me a comment. I've spent my summer in a similar way - unmotivated, constantly thinking dark thoughts, just sitting around and killing time. I think it's ok though, because summer is a time to relax and take a little break from stuff. one day in 3rd grade or something I literally came home crying because I felt like I was invisible and my friends didn't care about me and I had been hiding it in for so long and my mom took it well and calmed me down and helped me, so telling parents about losing friends is..good, I guess? idk. I'm really bad at advice but I hope this helped. I'm also unhappy with my identity, so I guess you're not alone. please keep going and remember to take care of yourself, we all love you 💕

Ask your mom for a private talk when your sister is asleep or your mom isn't too busy and tell her what's wrong, if not, then try writing it down and putting it on her pillow for her to see when she goes to bed. I hope this helps

I'm so sorry❤️❤️ I hope you feel better💙💙 you're amazing