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14/3/19 First of all, the quote is taken from the song “Secrets” by Pink, I’d fully recommend checking her out as she is my literal icon 😍
I’m still secretly seeing the boy, but I’m starting to consider announcing that we are together and making it official, but a part of me is terrified that it’ll go wrong
He always checks up on me, he’s done so much for me
He’s had me over his place at like 3am when I was so depressed I nearly left this world, he woke up and let me into his and I basically cried into his arms until I fell asleep that night and he never has and never will judge me for it
He’s seen my all my self harm scars (there’s about 12 of them, most people either don’t know at all or only know of one or two)
He’s always delivering compliments with me and never fails to see the beauty in me, even though I think I’m ugly and don’t see anything good in myself (My mental health has severely affected the way I see myself, I don’t think I’m remotely good looking and have major psychical and mental insecurities)
We always say we love each other, whether it be over the phone or in person when there’s nobody else around
I feel truly comfortable round him, like there’s no awkwardness between us and we are not only lovers but best friends as well, we started out as best friends and obviously it’s gone further
***SLIGHTLY EXPLICIT BIT IN THIS COMMENT***** (Nearly lost my V to him last weekend, my mind was ready but my body wasn’t, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable mentally and still don’t so that was a huge step for me (if you’ve been following this story of me and the boy)
***EXPLICIT BIT OVER*** And yeah, we are basically together and a proper couple, we just haven’t told anyone yet
In other news, my mental health is meh at the moment, one second I’m fine, the next I’m feeling low, like not like I wanna cry but just numb and that’s the worst, because I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so broken and it’s not fair because I wish I could work out what the issue is but I can’t
But I haven’t self harmed in just over 2 months now (last one in January 2019) so I’m getting slightly better but I don’t know how this year will work out for me, I had some pretty bad mental moments in 2018 but I still made it
So yeah, this year definitely won’t be boring, but I’m kinda exited to find out how it’ll work out, hopefully this will be my year, I hope I’ll achieve some of my private and secret goals, but you never know, I never like to be too wishful with my thinking because you never know how my life is going to go
Thank you if you read this far, sorry if this was a bit explicit to read but I needed to tell someone, however if you aren’t happy with anything I’ve written please let me know and I’ll sort it out to make it better 🙂
If you’re still reading this, Thank you xx - Young_Volcanoe 🌋✌️💙
Aw I love you dude ❤️. You’re such a sweet person and I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy.
i love you ❤️ and I am so proud of your journey. you are finally seeing the sweet spots!
also I feel sorta obligated to say I love that you are in love with this amazing boy. I dearly hope that everything goes right for the both of you
re: Oh my gosh yes, you've been here pretty much the whole time I've had this account. It's crazy how long some of us have used this app. We've grown up together.
Yes, I’m glad we’ve both been able to be there for each other. :)