I'm sorry guys....I'm so sorry
-matthew

TheNerdyReapers

I'm sorry guys....I'm so sorry -matthew


19 3
OMG Matthew are u ok! it's ok...it's ok
don't be sorry
*cries * I can't do this anymore....I hate living....I hate breathing....I hate it all -Matthew
no be strong Matthew.. no one can live without you *hugs you*
*pushes away and keeps crying*I'm a waste of space. I hate everything so much. *curls up, holding head tightly* I just wanna die
*feels so bad* *sits next to you* look you are not a waste of space you just think that... and do you know what would happen if you died
?
it wouldn't hurt to breath anymore *mummbles and keeps head down, curled into a ball *
no you need to breath and think this through... so many people love you you can't die😩😓
*touchs your head*
but it hurts so much....it feels like I've got bricks in my stomach and cinder blocks on my heart. I hate it and just want it to go away*starts crying harder*
i-i don't know what to say.... *starts to tear up a little* *thinks what to say but can't think of anything*
why do you think cutting yourself helps?
*holds knees tightly to chest and cries, holding the blade in my hand * I'm so scared he'll hurt my friends and now Blake won't even talk to me and let me explain. my friends were talking to Duncan but he had to go to bed and now.....I just wanna die and make it all go away
*takes the blade away sort of scared for what u will do* why don't you talk to Duncan
because he's asleep and I don't really know him that well.....he probably just secretly hates me like everyone else*looks away, tears streaming down my face*
OMG this is not allowed in my religion and it shouldn't be in anyone's!
we'll talk to him tomorrow. I don't secretly hate you and other people don't either * half smiles and puts the blade down*
and puts the blade down *
yeah you do....everyone does....they just don't want to say it *buries face isn't knees*
no I don't *trying to look stern but starts to frown because is sad for u*
don't do it please
*wipes eyes and stands up slowly* *walks over to the bath and turns the water on*I hate it all *starts violently scrubbing at the cuts with soap *
no don't scrub hard it won't help *takes the sponge and scrubs softly*
*cries and leans against you * it takes away from the pain in my heart.....and in my stomach. if the pains in my arms it doesn't brut as much anywhere else
but it won't help the cuts. *washes the blood out of the sponge then puts more water on it* *scrubs again
*buries face into your shoulder* but it'll hurt there so it won't hurt anywhere else
*rubs hand through your hair*
*realxes a bit and nuzzles into your hand *
not what? *looks confused*
not trying to hurt u*
why though....It makes it not hurt anywhere else.....and I hate it ..... the dread and guilt in my stomach...I hate it*starts to cry again*
but you don't want to infect your cuts * rubs hand over your cuts * don't cry
*whips tears*
*hugs you tightly and cries into your shoudler* I-I *hiccups* don't know what else t-to do
*hugs you back looking at you* *rubs your back* well let's try to stop crying first. then we will wrap your arm
so it doesn't get infected
*nods and cries for a bit longer before slowly calming down * *keeps hugging you tightly *
*walks over and gets the wrap from the cabinet* *then sits u in a chair*
*unrolls the wrap and starts to wrap your arm*
*sniffles ad wipes eyes a bit* thank you *looks down sadly *
your welcome *smiles* don't feel bad, I'm almost done with the wrap
*nods and let's you finish * I don't wanna leave the bathroom. it's safe in here.
ok we can stay in here if you want. * finishes wrap * then looked at you* promise me you will tell me when you cut
yourself
*nods * okay. but I'm gonna have to leave eventually. everyone's waiting for me outside. but...*curls up again* I don't wanna leave.....the bathroom is like my little safe area....I don't wanna leave ever
I know you don't but everyone will want u to come out. *rubs fingers through your hair* when are you planning
to come out?
I don't want to...I feel safe here and like no one can hurt me....I've gotta come out soon though then I'll have to stop messaging *looks down sadly and bites lip*
* sits closer* hugs* you don't have to come out but they want u to..just remember that
*smiles*
Matthew talk to me *starts to worry*
sorry hunny he came out the bathroom and we had to go to the hospital. we had no time to let anyone know. but hes okay now and were all headed home. thank you for all your held-james
OMG don't hurt yourself, you r worth living 😩
no im not-matthew
why would you do that
yes you r believe in yourself
i just wanna die. that way itll all stop hurting-M
don't die it will go away if YOU stop hurting yourself
np,James-Emily
hey Matthew I may not know you very well but I'm the same why. I turn 16 on Wednesday, and I cut a lot. if you ever need someone to talk to let me know. I know how it feels to feel like no one cares, like you have no body there for you,cut you do, judging from the comments on here, a lotta people care
Nyo! Does it hurt?
please don't do this to yourself you have a wonderful life ahead of you. you need to go forward and push past the rude people they are just jealous of you because they aren't as cute as you. you can make and life is worth live for. if you ever need anyone to talk to you I will be there and I will listen. I have gone through the same thing it was hard to get though and I will be your shoulder to cry on if you need