this is cool and creative piece, thank you so much for entering! I truly do love the ideas and I’m definitely intrigued to know more of the story, which is always a great thing! As I said on this post, I will now venture to try and provide you with some feedback which I hope will help but have a high probability of not helping at all! 😂 While there certainly isn’t much to criticize here, I think the main thing I’ll point out is that there are times where you could use a little more showing than telling. I personally get annoyed when anyone tells me to “show not tell”, but that doesn’t make it any less important I guess. 😂 I love everything that’s happening in this clip, but I think it could be elevated even more with the addition of more details describing the actions taking place instead of directly stating them. Overall, I really do hope you continue writing and practicing, you are very talented and the ideas are refreshingly unique :) thanks again for entering!

thank you so much for the feedback! that’s really helpful😊