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AND YOU SAID "okay" AND "wth" RIGHT WHEN I CAME BACK
HAHHAHAH
AND I GOT CONFUSED
BUT THEN-
BRO
OMG BRB 5 MINS
I WAS ABOUT TO S-
NVM. JUST. BRB.
OKAY BACK
AHAHHAHAA
OKAY BUT ITS GETTING CREEPY LMAOO
HI SORRY
THAT WAS SHORTER THAN I THOUGHT
oH
yk what
i'm calling the cops.
NO WHAT
jkjkjkjk
WHAT IF ELI HAD CALLED THE COPS ON YOU HUH
LMAAOOO
AHAHHAA
bro i wanna write down all the korean consonants and vowels but
do it
idk like how or where or the layout or something.
in a notebook
let me see if i have my old notes..
like i have a small grid notebook? but the squares are really small.. idk what to do.
okayy
no i don’t have them. but you could write them in the grid notebook i don’t think the size should really be a problem
oh wait
this is the really small notebook right?
the one that’s like
as big as your hand..?
nO it's a campus notebook
LMAÕ
"as big as your hand..?"
WELL
how do i like
lay it out
uh
like
why did i remix. on my own collage.
one second.
. . .
i-
can still see it LOL
oh nvm.
PFT
my notebook is gridded though-
yeah do it in the squares
oKaY
so you’re gonna do four = one?
mhm!
yeah i was scared it’d be too big but looking at how small the squares are i think it’s better 😂
lol yeah😂
omg i’m talking to someone- 😄
yes yes ofc
why do i feel scared
geez us
i give you this and then you-
LMAOO
sorry the opportunity was too good 🙂
yeah i’m feeling better..! she works downstairs so i only go downstairs to eat now PFT
okay so
i scrolled up-
what happened? 🥺
because. what was i supposed to do?
hEy sieRra woNT finD iT-
i hãte it that you’re so hard on yourself for talking to someone. it’s a GOOD thing. but that’s okay, i want you to feel comfortable. you don’t have to tell me. just talk to SOMEONE, literally anyone. just get it out. okay?
oh i thought you didn’t see.. i didn’t wanna like worry you more if it wasn’t that..
yeah.. that’s really horrible. i cried a little too and i don’t really know brady that well, but i know the feeling.
but i get it if you don’t want to talk about it. that’s understandable, since you’re close with both of them, brady especially. just.. don’t keep it in for a long time, okay?
i would, i won’t lie to you about that. i’d feel bad for dumping my problems on you when you obviously have your own things that you deal with, especially since you’re the same as me. but that doesn’t mean that you should do it too. you understand that, right? i do that, and it’s my fault, and i get that. i get that i’m too hard on myself and kinda just downright stupid with my feelings and the way i deal with stuff, but that’s just how i am. and i don’t want you to be that way too.
if you need to talk to her, talk to her. because what you just said - that she’s more important, is probably the same way she feels about you.
if anything you might make her day a little better just with the fact that you trusted her enough to vent to her, and then a little more with the fact that she might be able to help.
sorry.. too much..?
i’ll shut up. just please.. talk to someone. if it’s your eomma, or another friend, or a family member, anyone that you trust. just don’t keep it in.
and i told you that i’d try. and i try. i hover over the call button when i’m crying, and i always back off because i’m a freaking coward. i type everything out and right before i press send i delete it all. i’m stupid. i’m a coward. i think i can handle everything on my own amd i just can’t. i’m really sorry that i am that way. i try. i’ve talked to you before and i felt so much better after. but then i realized that you keep everything in too, and i just dumped my problems and troubles and worries all on you when you have your own. and i didn’t want you to have to deal with mine too. you really are like a big sister to me too, and i’m so grateful for you. but i’m just aftaid. i’m afraid that i’m gonna mess up. or that i’m gonma be too much, or that you’re gonna thimk i’m too dramatic or soething. and i know that’s stupid because i knwo your not like that but i always have that fear in me and i know that’s not going away. i’m really sorry. i’m trying. i promise i’m trying
yeha shes ok
sorry i ranted
but you alwys say sorry too
and you aren’t either. i promise i’ll try, but you have to try too. and i know you are already, and that makss me so happy but i know you hold back and i don’t want you to. if you’re gonna talk to me, you might as well give me everything you have
i’ll tru
try
sh ī t sorry i can’t see haha
i’m not. i look up to you so much
yeah
yeah i can do yhat
that
why would you say that i was doing so well-
i love you so much 💞
thank you
nono it’s okay, thank you so much
i love hugs 🥺
fine but only this one because my back hurts from hiding in the bathroom 😤
i love you too 💞💞
pFT
i have to go but i love you so much and i miss you
okay 🥺
goodnight 💖🌙✨
ùwú goodnight, sweet dreams, you too 💞💖💗
soRRY I DIDNT LIKE THE GREEN AND IF I FILLED IT THE WHOLE PICTURE DIDNT SHOW
??
why 🍡
bc of brady’s comment?
that’s why i said
omg-
😳
aH oki
yep i responded i just didn’t know what to say lol
are you okay?
are you sure? we still have the three things thing we need to do
ah he calls you unknown doesn’t he? or did you guys change it
just asking, wanted to make sure
that’s okay!! we can always do it tomorrow! okay? don’t stress about that. i was kind of reluctant to bring it up to be honest.. 😅
ahH okay i see
mhm, i’m good
maybe in a little bit..? sorry i’m just.. not ready 😅
yeah it’s late where they are huh.. i’ll say gn
okay.. is that okay with you though..?
okay.. i think i’d be good to do it tomorrow though, maybe
nooo i like smol one 🥺
yeah, i’m okay. could be better, but i’m okay
it was okay.. i didn’t do as good with this one as i’ve done with the other ones. and i got a pain in between my ribs in the middle of it, so that wasn’t fun, but i just kind of went through it.
i was frustrated with myself.
yeah.. i was frustrated with myself for getting a stupid pain and i was frustrated that i couldn’t do it right and i was frustrated that i was so tired and i was frustrated that i was too sore to finish the cool down. i was frustrated that i should be able to complete it but i had to rest for longer than the 30 seconds it gave me. i’m frustrated that i don’t WANT this enough. because hêll, i want it. i want it to badly but i’m not working for it as hard as i should be and there are so many other people who are so much better than me and i’m not going to make it.
i shouldn’t have bad days. and even if i do i should be able to power through. a great athlete is a consistent athlete - not a one hit wonder. i’m a good athlete. but i’m nothing special and if i’m nothing special then i won’t make it.
so*
thabk you
thank you
i love you 💞 that really means a lot to me
maybe bad week.. but it’ll get better
you mean the world to me 💞
🥺🤧
goodnight before i get yelled at 💞
hi
i was just really looking forward to it, you know? i started training and he told me we could train together, and i was excited but he hasn’t trained a single day with me. he works and works and works. it’s all he does now. he sits there at his desk on calls all day right outside my room. he doesn’t work to live he lives to work. from 5 to 7, sometimes even later. and when he makes promises or plans with me, and i get excited, it never happens. we were supposed to go last week. he apologized and said he’d make it up. so we said 4 today. but it’s 4:30 and i still hear him talking and typing. i sent him at text at 3 to ask if we were still going and he didn’t respond, but i know he’s been using his phone. he always does it though. and i get that he’s busy with work and that these are tough times and whatever, so i should be so sad. but i’m sitting here crying and being selfish
and just.. it hurts you know? he just finished his call. i just heard him say bye, and he’s still typing. he hasn’t responded to my message. he probably won’t see it until later. and he just connected to another call. i don’t want to interrupt him to ask, so i know i’m just gonna keep sitting here. he told me to remind him, and i tried, but he was busy and told me to go back to my room quickly because of the person working here. they made a big deal about it last night. and when i said we always make plans and never go, my step mom pinned it on me. “you never remind him. he’s busy and he works, how is he going to be thinking about everything at once?”
i’m just tired of it. if we’re not gonna go, don’t make plans with me. if you’re just gonna work all day, don’t promise me that we’ll go do something you know i want to go do so badly, and then just ignore me and blõw me off.
and if you’re gonna pin it on me in the end, we might as well not do anything.
sorry
i’m done
he walked into my room, “hEy. Come here” i was like “yeah?” he said, “werent we supposed to go at 4?” and i was like “yeah, i texted you-“ and he said “no you weren’t supposed to text me. why didn’t you come out and tell me?” i said “you told me not to come out of my room.” and he was like “but for that you were supposed to come tell me. you could’ve poked your head out the door and told me.” i was like “you were on a call.” he said “who cares? because now the time passed and if we keep doing this we’re never gonna get this done.” and i was like “okay, i’m sorry.”
and then he told me that maybe we could still go, and to get rea
ready*
so i started getting my clothes out and he was like
“oh wait if the worker guy is still here we can’t go.”
“but change anyway, maybe we can go later after he leaves.”
but i’m pretty sure he still has calls later.
at least he didn’t see me crying LMAÕ
it’s fine at least there’s a bigger chance now
me too.. i think he’s only being this way because he’s stressed.
it’s okay!
yeah, he has a lot of knee problems 🤧
yeah we’re good, we talked a tiny bit (not abt me crying and whatever but abt how i wanted to do it more often) and he said that he wanted to do it more often too and that he was gonna try harder so
we’re gonna change the icons today right?
NO AJKDJD
THANK YU DO I CHANGE IT NOW?
aRe wE cHanGiNG iT noW?
oKaY LmaOO
oh LOL
it was nothing don’t worry lol
no seriously, i just said that i had a long talk with my aunt and my sister, and then my mom came home and joined in, and i realized how much was bothering me LMAÕ
everyone was talking about personal things and getting things out
yeah a little bit, i got a few things out
yeah
hello i require some.. assistance 😐
an acc followed me called @Worldwide_Mochi (i’m pretty sure it’s an underscore but idk) and so, naturally, i liked all of their collages
and then i went into the people they follow, they only have one follower. so i went into who they follow and they follow someone called @i_purple_you
and i rapped on the acc and the same exact collages are on there
but on both accounts, there are no comments, so idk who posted them first
and i want to bring it to their attention.. but it could be the same person?? but like.. idk for one to have only one follower and the other to have about 700
and they only have like.. one or two likes per collage..
so idk what to say or who to bring it up to..
tapped**
alright..
oH THANK GOD
they ARE i_purple_you
but they lost their account 💀💀
i know 😓 i was so stressed
i did a josh edit ùwú i think i’m gonna post it tomorrow and then start working on an edit for taemin’s birthday 😊
YeS YOU CAN SEE
idk how to remix a remix so i’ll remix on one of your old edits
are you inactive for like a specific reason? or just to be inactive?
ah okay, yeah i’ve also been trying to fix my screen time and compared to before it’s better but i should probably try a bit harder 😅
and yeah, i don’t know how it was before but that sucks 🥺
I KNOW IM RAGING.
NO IDK I JUST SAW IT TOO
NO AUGUST ASKED I DONT THINK SHE GAVE IT TO HER
NO SHE DIDNT SAY
HHSBDJABHAHD
didn’t maya the harl or smth copy
ahH okay
hHhH that’s so annoying.
yeah..
noo it’s okay, don’t feel bad.
i’m sure he’ll check in again to see if you responded
me too 😤✋🏼
warning, some account called conservative_hype_house followed a bunch of people earlier and.. 🤡
so just like.. idk faith commented, i commented, but like idk what the warning was for i just wanted to let you know??
lowkey wanna come at them but like..
yeah..
nono just their views. idk i don’t agree with them so i just wanted to tell you that they followed you in case you didn’t agree with them and didn’t want them following you. like i don’t care if they follow me, so i commented to see if they would argue with me and they didn’t, so i don’t care.
i just didn’t want someone following me if they were gonna argue with me. ya know?
but i commented nicely and they responded kindly too, so i’m fine with it
they’re allowed to have their viewpoints, but i wanted to see if they would argue or try to force their beliefs upon me. but they didn’t so it’s all good
actually. i just realized they deleted their post-
RIP 🤡💀
no nothing just a debate ish thingy. politics 💀 and the world and money and racism and stuff
bro. the account-
they were saying that they think the virus is overblown to get trump out of office and i’m here like what 👁👄👁
i was like, i mean, like i’ve lost people i knew to the virus so i said that i didn’t believe it was overblown just to get trump out of office.. and whatever
and they were like yeah i get that, and i’m sorry that you lost people, but i get they were on the older side or had a pre existing condition
and then they said that they believed that the younger people should be able to be out and about and that people who are at risk could stay inside
so i was like
but just because younger people don’t usually die to the virus or don’t show symptoms doesn’t mean they can’t carry it and then spread it to people who are at risk when they go home
and they were like
“the CDC came out and said people who don’t show symptoms can spread the virus.”
so i looked up the official government CDC website
took a screenshot of where it says “people who don’t show symptoms CAN carry and spread the virus”
highlighted that
highlighted the “cdc.gov”
and highlighted where it said “updated June 16”
and they commented
“ya and when was that written? bet it was i’m march before they found out people without symptoms can’t spread it” or smth
and i-
so i was like “i highlighted it for you, it says it was updated June 16. if it wasn’t true they would have changed it.”
kinda tempted to pūt a “:)” face like they’ve been doing.
I PUT THE HAPPY FACE AJDJJD
I FEEL SO BÃDASS LMAÕ
omg of course she’ll remember you- how could a person forget someone like you 😤
that is NOT TRUE
nO ThEy diDnT
yeah, why?
ah
i’m okay just getting feelings out lol
gonna start journaling so i can get it out in a healthy way instead of doing something i’ll regret
i’m just in a tough spot rn. people talk and i listen. and then i’m in my head all the fking time and. i’m just tired haha
but i’m trying not to be as bad as i was. i think my mental health is honestly worse now than it has ever been but. i want to be strong this time.
okay, thank you. you have no idea how grateful i am for you, and how much a better person you make me want to be. i love you 💞
i don’t want to hurt myself again. that was a really low point in my life. this is worse, but i want to be strong. i don’t want to hurt myself. i don’t want to be a coward
impossible 💓
okay. thank you. i will. i’ll text you or call you
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