im here

wanna air out?

okay..

cool

im so sorry i just randomly get to depressed and need people who really listen

its cool. im told im good at empathizing and listening

go for it. im wide eared

ahh its just school stress is getting really bad and I cant get anything done at all. bullies are getting to me and wont shut up long enough for me to pull myself together. my family seems to barely care abt me, as i often am left with all the chores and bossed around the most. my own friends treat me like a 2nd grader who cant read or write. im emotionally and verbally abused. voices are telling me im not loved, and that i should just die and no one would care at all

im an insomniac but no one believes me. i rarely eat, ever. i think of dying too much and self harm during class. i have become a skilled actress when it comes to hiding how i really feel. everyone thinks i am just looking for attention. no one cares when i say im depressed and need to be alone

listen, you are loved. bullies are the type of people that try to make you feel what they felt. or they’re just straight up jerk wads 😒. i can feel that you need more people to understand and I will be one of those people. Now, parents will boss you around

trust me

everytime i verbally hurt someone i cut.

no they boss me around more than everyone else does. if i mess up even slightly, BAM! i get screamed at like i just lit the dànm house on fire

they boss you around to prepare you for the real world and love you and try to protect you. as you go up in age, they start to know, they cant protect you forever. they start to get more strict and protective. some try to put themselves at a distance so that it wont be as hard to let thier child go

i get yelled at real easily too. i blame the asian side

cutting is just as bad as bullying. you’re getting under your skin (no pun intended) and bullying yourself

that's certainly not what it feels like... it feels like they dont love me for me. they make me do all kinds of shît that i hate and will never use for what i really want to do in life. they never listen

they’re protective it sounds like or their’s a trust disconnection

im expected to be perfect. my mum doesnt listen and my dad doesnt care at all. im supposed to take care of myself. hèll im not even 13 yet!!

would your parents tell you to do something stupid?

yes

how long have you been undergoing depression?

a year.. but it get worse dramatically very quickly

okay.

Is there a certain thing that drives you to depression? and you have to be 100% certain on this

why..?

it gives me a certain view point on this

uh the feeling of hopelessness, that im not loved or wanted at all. the fact that i dont fit in at school and am bullied on how i talk

if you narrow down to a main reason, you can defeat depression quicker but in a careful and slow manner

oh okay

sorry if I sound a little creepy! 😅 I just don’t want you to fall into the same hole I did

its okay

u dont sound creepy to me lol

okay. the hopelessness situation I can understand from a huge view. how much time do you spend with your parents?

little

i lock myself in my room a lot

okay. that might be a problem. a huge population of girls reaching the ages 12-18 start going through depression. how much time do you spend on electronics?

a lot. maybe 4-6 hours a day (mainly at school)

okay. without school. just at home on weekends?

3-7 hours scattered

ok. parents are home on weekends and when you get home from school correct?

my mum is, my dad works

during this summer i will be spending more time alone tho

opposite for me. mum works and dad is home. do you spend time with your family on weekends at a fair amount?

a bit yea

okay. do you guys have game nights or movie nights? (btw, i get dragged into them lol)

no

okay. family movie or game nights is a good thing to try and get your parents to join you in. heck! just playing one round of Sorry! would be a good bonding moment. make sure to plan at least a week ahead though. parent schedules, ya know? there will most likely be 50% chance of them saying yes

i sound like a parent rn... -.-

yeah, i have two sporty siblings too, and neighbors who practically live at my house. its a 5% chance of happening tbh

no u dont !

i see. i have a little brother. he’s one who gets attention all the time and I mainly stay in four different places. do you ever get a chance to talk to them 1 on 1

sometimes...

do you tell them how you feel you’re treated. how much love you feel you receive from them anything like that?

i would dare. it would go back to them flying off the handle and cuss at me

i’ve had it too. don’t worry. I feared telling my mom how I felt and just broke down sobbing. it’s almost like when the parent sees their baby, their child crying because they’re hurt, their defense shield goes down. its weird

it is weird... but... tbh im afraid of them

I honestly consider running away

i think of a lot of things i shouldnt tbh

oh ho ho! trust me! fear is just a sense of imagination. fear is processed from imagination and what is going to happen in the future

fighting those fears is like fighting this little voice in the back of your head, nagging for you to believe it

sooo... ineffective?

sort of. its something that challenges you to see you for who you truly are

look in a mirror, stare a little long, look a little closer.

and if you don’t see a beautiful person, get a new mirror and make a new name for yourself that makes you for who you are.

?

sorry if im not making sense

im not beautiful though..

im trying to say, it doesn’t matter who you are outside. the inside matters more. (not organs)

what time is it where u r?

9:19

a very uneven time rn

oh okay.. i don' wanna keep ya up too late. its 10.22 pm here

ok

btw, i’ll be gone Wednesday-Sunday but just know, opening up to your parents can make a huge change. and i mean HUGE!!!!

thank you so very much for everything❤️ i love you sm!

luv u too 😍❤️

if anything goes wrong, just let me know and I’ll b there ASAP

ya i know... my mum knows i get depressed easy cos she reads eyes like me, but she has no idea what i go thru. no one does but yall on here. and soon my therapist

anything else u wanna talk about tomorrow?

uh probably stress.. idk. but im feeling much better now😊

ok. i deal with a lot of people with stress. i can totally help with that

uhm but i gotta go, as much as i hte to leave, i have a book report due tom. that i havent started yet.

#trying to be a councilor in training 🤗

ok

okay thank you again💙❤️

Have a lovely night love. 🤗 rest very well

good night!

you too! gn

how’s your stress been? you said you wanted to talk about it and see if there are anyways to calm down from stress?

uh actually, its gotten better, everything has. we had a ton of stuf due yesterday and i think that helped. plus, in all my current assignments, my teachers r letting me to fandom projects so 😈

nice! glade I was able to help!😊