definitely a question that we don’t ask ourselves enough. my parents are very similar to yours, and they’ve constantly told me that they “worked hard to get to where they are and provide the tools for success”, so I have to be at the same level as them or better. I was (and tbh still am) constantly striving for being the best at everything. it was never enough—I always needed more, as proof that I could do something other than what my parents pushed for. needless to say, as you know, didn’t work well. I’m fortunate that what my parents want, and what I want align but that doesn’t mean each Asian American family is the same. each individual is different and meant to do great things. we are never done learning, but that doesn’t mean we can’t share findings we’ve discovered. I hope you have found your creativity / create in a healthy manner, as your stories and worlds built have always been ornate and well thought out kat. a few years ago, you urged me to stand up to my parents and speak my mind, which really helped me out mentally. I hope that you can too, and you can pursue what your heart pleases and that one day we can both contently say we’re satisfied.

I definitely should have written this in a google doc before sending because I don’t remember half of what I just wrote. sorry if I wrote in circles LOL

I also can relate to this urge of satisfaction, except it’s opposite way. I grew up in the ‘non typical’ Asian household where my parents only wanted me to do my best and for me to grow up with a career I was interested in, in contrast to punishment if I don’t get straight A’s or become a doctor. I was surrounded by other Asian peers whose parents followed this traditional path and that made me question how my upbringings were. Sure, that’s the dream. To have such understanding parents that will support you is one thing, but it really took a toll on me because I ended up constantly comparing myself to others thinking I wasn’t worth anything. Idk where this is going but I guess I wanted to share another viewpoint. And you are absolutely right, perfectionism is paralyzing. I’m still learning to stop criticizing myself because I’m doing fine in life and there is no need to compare. I do hope you are able to continue learning and growing to pursue your passions despite what others think. Your mind is a powerful influence that can make or break you, but hopefully it can guide you to be able to express your passions in a way that you see perfect.

I don't really have anything to offer on this, but I do hope that you'll figure out a way to enjoy creating in a healthy way. I truly believe you will figure it all out and grow into the most beautiful version of yourself ❤

honestly, I can really sympathize with this!

I believe that if you’re loving what you’re doing, then you’re satisfied.

that’s all I have lol, I’m clearly still working through this kind of thing! 💗

thank you for writing this , it was really nice to hear your thoughts on this. it sparked some great conversation up above haha, and personally the bit you wrote about sacrificing creativity for perfection is smth that I def struggle with. its always great to read anything you write :)) youre amazing kat ilyy <33

this is definitely true, not being bias/stereotyping or anything but are u asian? because…honestly, coming from an asian myself, I think this is smtg that asian parents of any parent would want. though I think that asian children have more burden and stressed when it comes to what they want to be in the future. parents tend to want their children to be more successful than them so that their grandchildren or the future generations will not have to suffer so much but it’s also because they rather not be ashamed of what their child does. i understand, since I was young, grandparents, parents, relatives would always want me and my siblings, cousins to be doctors/lawyers. they would show articles and examples of other ppl being so successful and sometimes this isn’t what we want to do. what we do will never be enough for our parents honestly. get a 99 and they will ask us to aim higher, scold us for that stup1d careless mistake that could have led us to success. pretty annoying honestly, though they’re just doing it for our own good. they don’t rlly understand us anymore…and it hurts honestly. so I’m glad that u came up with this, I personally love writing as well, coming me up with my own poems or short stories now or them. I’m definitely not satisfied with myself but I hope you are/get there. don’t care about what others say, prove them wrong. that you can still achieve huge goals by being a writer or even smtg else. stand up to them and ignore their criticism even if you don’t dare to, gain the confidence and you will be able to reach your goals. don’t ever criticise yourself, you’re amazing and you just need to continue striving on. im here for you :) even if we’re not so close

also the writing is beautiful <3

^^totally can relate!

this writing is… so gorgeous. i’m speechless. I really don’t know what to comment I’ve tried to find the words for how I relate to this, but just ended up talking about my own problems lol💀 your writing is what i hope I can write like someday <3

coming back to this makes me reflect deeply on what I really want to do in my life. and will I be truly, completely satisfied? probably not. will I be happy? definitely.