I hid the ibuprofen I was going to overdose on months back in my vents, taped to the side so it wasn't noticeable if you opened them up. I love hiding things

no one irl knows what my music sounds like or that I even have a YouTube channel. I love secrets, hiding, manipulating situations, lying. I know it's bad that I do, but it makes things more interesting. The only tells I have for lying are raised heartbeat, but I find no difference visually and verbally when I'm lying and when I'm not. I think it all stems from keeping my problems and addictions secret; I fell in love with falling and the chores that came with it.

not healthy. I know. but can you blame me?

Yeah, I guess. It's hard though, poetry that isn't sad seemed petty to me. Wrong, and superficial, I know.

That makes sense. There's nothing to revel in when there's no game to win. What do you think you like deception for? Maybe the intellectual stimulation or the gratifying game aspect of it? The proof of ability it provides?

One day I'll learn how to not sound like a therapist in everyday conversation.

s a m e e e but i kinda have to hide things so my brother won't find them. like i used to just have a blade in one of my drawers but he opened it one day looking for something and i nearly had a heart attack, so now i've got it inbetween a pocket mirror😂 ik stupid but that's where no one would look. also my heartbeat does the same thing, i've bought it was just me until now oops.

thought* ack

That paragraph would be a great opener for something about a lady detective, or just a bad*ss protagonist. ~~Autobiography ideas~~

There seems to be a good deal of potential overlap between physical urges and catharsis. Have you ever thought about adding more physical aspects to your art (I believe it's safe to call you an artist) as a method of providing alternatives to harm?

Not sure what that would mean. Maybe climbing whatever's nearby like Tyler?

fyi: the next hiding spot would be in my calendar. or a restitched stuffed animal but I wouldn't want to keep ripping that apart so,