Collage by elysian-

elysian-


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k: *continues holding onto you tightly, keeping his face hidden in his arm* // bubba, do you wanna open gifts now?
k: *holds onto your arm with one of his hands, leaning back against you* // where’d you put his gifts, baby? i’ll grab them
*nods and leans over, giving the two of you kisses on your heads before heading down to get the gifts for him off the counter*
k: *giggles softly and tries to move off your lap, pushing on your hands* missed daddy moreee! a-an’ don’t wanna go back to the other house no more. like you an’ mommy an’ sissy // *brings the gifts in the room and sets them beside you two*
k: *nods a little and start opening the present excitedly, leaning back against you*
k: *grins excitedly and takes them out, looking at all of them before looking at you* thank you!! // *smiles softly and watches the two of you*
k: *smiles happily and takes the next gift, opening it quickly* // *laughs softly and watches the two of you, taking a couple pictures*
k: *gasps softly and grins, paying attention to the stuffed animal instead of the candy, holding it close to his chest*
k: *smiles brightly and hugs the stuffed elephant close to his chest, leaning back to look up at you* yes yes! // *smiles softly and kisses his cheek*
kai, can you go put your new toys up where they belong real fast? then come back and we can give daddy his gift you have for him together? *smiles softly and brushes my fingers through his hair to push it back from his face* // k: *nods quickly as he grins before running out with the bag that has the toys you got him*
just wait til you get the gift from him… it was all his idea *smiles softly and nods* it made me cry when he told me
oh, you probably will. *laughs softly* and the second part of it is one of my gifts to you // k: *runs back in quickly and hands you a small bag* here here!!
*inside is a manila folder and a card* k: open the card first, daddy!
*the card is a regular Christmas card, but inside he wrote ‘thank you for being my daddy! i hope you will be always’ but with spelling errors and written a little messy* // *pulls makai into my lap and holds him close, smiling as we both wait impatiently*
k: *grins happily then points* now the other one!! // *watches you as i bite my lip, resting my head on top of his* **inside the manila envelope are adoption papers for you to sign and papers showing that i now have full custody of him*
*laughs softly at your reaction as tears start to fall* he said he couldn’t do it anymore, and makai said he wanted you to be his daddy forever so… merry Christmas, baby. // k: *looks at you with a smile, swinging his legs as he waits to hear what you have to say*
*pats makai to have him scoot over and hug you then goes to the other side of you and hugs you as well*
k: *hugs your arm gently, resting his head against you* // *looks over at you and smiles softly, tears falling down my cheeks* told you, didn’t I?
*leans over to kiss your cheek* like i said… his idea. take your time to sign the papers but.. once you do we can get his last name changed and he’ll be yours, just like baby girl
after he asked me if we could make you his dad, it took me about two hours to stop crying completely *smiles softly and nods* // k: *giggles at your kisses, holding onto your arm still* love you too daddy
k: *smiles widely and hugs your arm even tighter before yawning some* // he’s been so excited about this and it’s been hard for me to keep it a secret
k: *starts to doze off against your arm* // *nods, smiling softly* i understand completely, don’t worry
i know right? that’s how i felt when i won the custody battle… now you know why my confidence was low and why i was so… excited the other day *laughs lightly and nods, having kept my voice just above a whisper* // k: *quickly clings onto you once you pick him up, on a light sleep*
*watches as you walk out with him, giving you a nod in response to your statement, settling back on the bed against the headboard after tidying up a little bit*
*blushes a bit at the nickname after not having heard it in a while, playing with your hair gently* hiii
what’s the favor? and do we wanna exchange our Christmas gifts first or do that later? *continues playing with your hair, tilting my head a bit*
maybe i do, but i also need to hear you say it first *raises my brows a little and watches you for a moment* but also know that baby girl might wake up at some point for me to feed her, so you’ll have to share me
if you don’t say it- *leans down closer to you, whispering soothingly* then how can mommy help you, pup. *continues playing with your hair* and you have to share me if she wakes up. mommy has to take care of all her babies.
*continues talking in the same tone, raising my brows* why not, pup? and what parts of mommy do you not wanna share?
you’ve never shown a possessive side for me before, but i find it super cute. you’ll have to learn how to share though
oh? then you need to tell me exactly what you want, pup. then mommy will try her best to make sure you don’t have to share.
but if you aren’t gonna look at me, im gonna share anyways.
*tries not to laugh and holds you close to me, brushing my fingers through your hair gently* momma just has one request for you, pup. is that okay? it’s fine if you say no to them
so… you’re either going to have to help mommy one of two ways. let mommy pump while we snuggle, although it’ll be a little noisy, or… you’re gonna have to do what baby girl does and have some of mommy’s milk. *chews on my lip, watching you for a moment* like i said, you can say no, pup. but those are the two options since you don’t want to share. okay?
you sure, sweet boy? i mean it’s pretty simple, you ‘latch’ on with your tongue, and you just sxck. but I can adjust you some as you try for the first time, okay? *pats your thigh gently to signal for you to sit up, sitting myself up some as well*
*nods a little and takes my shirt off, setting it aside along with my bra before getting myself comfortable again and spreading my legs some, patting the space between them* cmere, pup
lay against me like you were before, sweet boy. and ask any questions you have for me, okay? i just assume this spot might be the most comfy for you
*takes a slow breath as i adjust to the feeling slightly, shifting my breast a bit so you have a better latch and to get the milk to start flowing for you, watching you*
*lets out a slow sigh at the relief im getting from you, continuing to massxge my breast to keep the milk flow consistent for you*
*cradles your head habitually and rubs your back with my other hand, closing my eyes* momma will have you switch sides in a little while, if that’s okay
if you’re going to talk, pull back and tell me, pup. don’t mumble like that *allows you to continue nursing off that side for a bit then taps your nose* switch sides for me
( I’ll just post instead, okay bubs? )
*mxssxges that breast as well to get the milk flowing a bit more steadily, relaxing once again from the relief im starting to feel* yummy?
*plays with your hair gently as you nurse, shutting my eyes*
*does allow myself to doze off and keeps my hand in your hair, not having been this relaxed in a long time*
*sleeps lightly as i hold you close, my grip on you loose*
*sleeps lightly for a while, a faint snore falling past my lips from exhaustion*
*wakes up slightly from the feeling of you unlatching, reaching to turn the baby monitor on*
*sleeps for a while longer, waking up slowly*
*watches you for a moment after I wake up, smiling to myself*
*adjusts myself a bit and starts to trace on the skin exposed on your tummy from your shirt slipping up, kissing your head*
*laughs faintly to myself and smiles, whispering* pretty pup, got all full with milk
*notices you moving a lot and smiles* is someone awake, hm?
it’s fine if you’re awake, pup. momma just wants to cuddle with you properly *laughs a little and brushes my fingers through your hair*
*watches you with soft eyes and smiles a bit to myself* did you sleep okay?
we might have to make this a regular thing for you *laughs a little and takes in just how tired you are, rubbing your back after pulling you close*
mainly skin contact with me when you feel little, or even milk if you want to ever do this again. entirely up to you, baby. but seeing you this relaxed and comfy makes me happy.
*pulls you as close as I can and cradles your close to me*
do i need to get you pacis for when you feel little, baby? *looks down at you, tracing along your brow bone gently* sleepy little pup
or if we do skin contact more often when you’re little you can just put your mouth where you had it earlier *goes back to brushing my fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp lightly*
*continues my actions, watching you closely*
*massages your scalp slowly, taking in the way you’ve relaxed and smiles to myself* are you comfy now, pretty little pup?
*raises an eyebrow as i start to trace my fingers gently along your inner thigh, paying attention to your expressions*
*continues tracing my fingers up and down, kissing your forehead as my other hand stays in your hair*
oh yeah? my baby has butterflies? *laughs softly and continues, peppering tiny kisses along your face as i keep tracing and massaging*
why does he have butterflies, hm? *continues my actions as before, smiling to myself*
if there isn’t a reason that you can share with me then ill just have to stop whatever is giving you the butterflies *smiles some to myself and stills both of my hands*
hey, we don’t do that. good boys don’t do that. *raises my brows and watches you closely*
*pulls my hands away from you completely and nods as i put my shirt back on* okay. i’ll remember that then, pup.
*checks my phone for a bit then gets up out of the bed, stretching some* if you’re gonna pout and be rude to mommy then you can stay there as time out.
turning your back to me isn’t exactly being nice, puppy. mommy just wants to know what made you get those butterflies, because I want to make sure i do it again. that’s all, it’s nothing to be shy or secretive about. *sits back down on the bed, reaching over to rub your back*
like what, playing with your hair? giving you head rubs? touching your thigh? the back rubs? tell me, pretty baby *moves to sit against the headboard again, holding my arms open for you*
okay, well i’ll be sure to do that for you more. *kisses the top of your head and holds you close to me as i look down at your face*
im honestly surprised how well you took to nursing off of me, pup. and i really enjoyed seeing it, also. *nods a little and massages your scalp slowly*
yeah? i mean.. it was a weird request but if im being honest, it’s one ive been wanting to ask you for a while. i just didn’t. but i really needed it this time *nods, smiling softly as i keep you close* plus, i never see you eating when we’re together and doing things so.. maybe it just made me feel a bit more okay with that
why don’t you eat, baby *furrows my brows a bit, keeping you close to me, trailing my hand up from your thigh to your tummy, tracing on it gently* momma really doesn’t like to hear that
well… momma is gonna have to make a stop to that, okay? because i used to do that and it put me in the hospital. and i don’t need my baby to go in the hospital. *kisses your nose softly, holding you close to me as i continue to trace on your tummy*
you guess? hm… pup, do you think you’re pretty? be honest with me *brushes my fingers through your hair playfully with one hand and continues to leave a hand on your belly*
yes baby, i do. you’re the prettiest *smiles genuinely as i nod, kissing the top of your head* and you’ll always be pretty to me, no matter what.
you’ll never be ugly, and momma would never stop loving you for how much you weigh. ever. you could weight 500lbs+ and i’d love you all the same. *furrows my brow a bit and thinks for a moment* did you think momma was pretty even though she was fat and is still chubby, pup? *brings one of my hands to yours, holding them both to get you to stop fidgeting*
then even if you’re “fat” *makes air quotes with my free hand then rests it back on your belly* you’ll still be beautiful too. the prettiest ever. okay? but you’re far from it, you’re far from ugly, and definitely not a pig. you’re practically just skin and bones *moves you so you’re laying down and moves to hover over you, leaning down to move your shirt up and press kisses all along your belly and entire abdomen* also, if momma could tell you a secret she would, but i know it’s a normal one
*kisses all over your abdomen for a bit longer then looks up at you, moving up near your ear before whispering* momma likes people who are softer. she likes when the person she loves has a bit of a tummy because that means she’s taking care of them the way she’s supposed to. *presses a kiss to each cheek then your nose before sitting up* probably weird, but i’ve always been that way. and if you think that’s weird, then momma probably won’t tell you the rest. but… believe me, you’d be the most precious thing in the world, more precious than you already are.
hm… well what are some things that get my baby eager? can you start by telling momma that? *pulls you closer to me and traces on your thighs up and down slowly, tilting my head some* hm?
well lucky for you, momma loves your legs, especially your thighs *smiles softly and nods, moving my hands to your upper thighs then presses a quick kiss to your lips* but don’t worry, we can figure out what gets you turned on as time goes on… do you like praise? being told what a good little baby you are for me? how amazing of a listener you are?
use your words, angel. *stops my actions completely, raising my brows some*
*nods slowly and scoots back from you* alright, we’ll stop then
*gets up after a second, chewing on my lip as i grab everything and clean it up, changing into a hoodie and some sweats, hearing the baby monitor going off at the same time, going to check on mar*
*cleans up mar and gets kai up from his nap, taking him downstairs and making them both something to eat, whilst also cleaning up, tossing some things that relate to what we were doing in the garbage at the same time*
*feeds mar and talks with kai as he eats, continuing to clean and different things, keeping myself busy to clear my head*
*tends to the kids and takes care of the house, fixing a plate for you for later and taking it up to the bedroom quietly with a cover on it then goes back down, giving mar tummy time and watching kai play with the toys you got him*
**left a note for you by the plate saying “sorry, forget about everything we discussed and did earlier. i love you. P.S. kai is playing with his toys from you and loves them”** *stays with the kids, having dozed off on the couch with the two of them, a movie playing on the tv*
*continues to sleep on the couch with kai snuggled up to my side and mar on my chest, holding them both protectively*
*continues to sleep alongside the kids, mar sleeping soundly along with makai, him moving a tiny bit in his sleep*
*moves a bit in my sleep after feeling makai move but doesn’t wake up* // k: *sits up and stretches some, noticing you’re here then crawls over to you sleepily and moves to your lap, cuddling close and instantly falling back asleep*
k: *sleeps against you peacefully, snuggled close* // *feels around for him in my sleep and slowly wakes up when I don’t feel him, furrowing my brow in a bit of confusion as i prop up a little, still holding mar to my chest then sees you and lays back down with her*
k: *sleeps against you deeply, one hand gripping your shirt gently out of habit* // *can’t sleep after waking up and knowing you’re there, quietly repositioning myself to lay my head on your leg while laying on my side, mar still asleep beside me*
*peeks up at you sleepily are the feeling of your hand in my hair, hugging your leg with my arm that isn’t around mar*
*presses a couple tiny kisses to your leg, keeping my eyes on you drowsily as you continue massaging my scalp, humming out a soft sound of comfort*
*quickly falls into a deeper sleep than before from your hand, keeping an arm around mar the whole time*
*sleeps deeply for a couple hours until I feel margeaux start to move around, slowly waking up and stretching*
*picks mar up and quietly takes her back to her room as makai sleeps deeply*
*tip toes to take mar to her room as makai changes how he’s laying with you, still deeply asleep* *comes back down and decides to cuddle against your other side, quickly falling back asleep with my face resting against your chest on the opposite side or makai*
*keeps myself pressed close to you, still feeling a bit restless and thinking about before in my sleep, trying to get comfy against you*
*makes a faint noise of protest in my sleep, still squirming a little as i remain restless* // k: *moves a little as well, now turning to hug the arm wrapped around him like he would a stuffed animal, sleeping peacefully*
*gets up after a few minutes, still extremely groggy as i go to the kitchen and eat some of what I made for the kids since I didn’t eat when they were awake, ending up falling asleep at the table again* // k: -*cuddles into you as well after you pull him closer, making tiny sounds as he dreams*
*wakes back up and sighs after realizing I fell asleep at the table, eating a second helping out of habit before cleaning everything again, washing the dishes as quietly as I can* // k: *stretches and shivers some, feeling a tiny bit cold as he wakes up slowly too, rubbing his eyes*
*heads back over to the couch and notices makai awake, gently picking him up as i whisper* lets go brush your teeth, put jammies on and then you can sleep better? maybe cuddle with momma and daddy in bed for a little? // k: *nods a tiny bit, clinging close* ‘kay
*takes makai into my arms and holds him close, singing to him softly as i carry him up to his room*
*gets makai dressed and cleaned up for bed, having him in our bed then getting myself ready as well, leaving the hoodie on but changing into a pair of sleep shorts, coming down to check on you and sees you’re asleep, waking you up carefully* max
*laughs just slightly and gives you a moment to wake up, holding my hand out for you* you can’t possibly be comfortable so.. cmon. let’s get ready for bed, okay? makai wants more snuggles and is probably passed back out trying to wait
*leads you to the bedroom, tucking my free hand in my hoodie pocket as i glance back at you momentarily* you feel okay?
*hums a faint response and nods, walking with you to the bedroom then let’s go of your hand* that’s normal though considering- mm nevermind. *shrugs some and gets in bed with makai, holding him close since he already fell asleep*
*shrugs a little and holds makai close to me, brushing my fingers through his hair slowly as i keep my eyes on him* didn’t know that. need you to elaborate later on you not minding or whatever. but… anyway. that’s why you’re tired. *keeps my voice at a whisper for makai*
i’m genuinely thrilled about it. he’s so so excited, and you’ve been more of a dad to him than his own? and around a lot more. so of course he’s going to think of you as dad. *smiles small and nods, looking up at you as i continue to whisper*
*blushes gently and looks down at makai, holding his head against my chest* soulmate, hm? i can say for a fact that i have no doubt you’re mine, and on top of that, we do have the most precious children. a balanced little family *smiles a bit to myself, swaying a little to make sure makai is sleeping deeply and will be for the rest of the night*
I'm... pleasantly surprised hearing that, honestly. *speaks just below a whisper as I smile some to myself, brushing my fingers through makai's hair and looks down at him, trying not to laugh when i see a drool spot forming on my hoodie* but yeah. we're definitely lucky to have met someone like you, kai and i... because who knows where we would've been if it weren't for you and your love.
*watches you and feels my heart flutter when I see the loving look in your eyes in regards to makai* just that right there.. that look you have him, is enough to make me melt completely and fall in love all over again. *smiles softly and shakes my head* you don’t even realize how big of a blessing you are.
*smiles softly and leans over slightly, kissing your cheek gently* before, when i would get him from his dad’s house, the first thing he would ask for is you. he loves you so much, max. it’s amazing, because he’s genuinely such a shy, non-affectionate kid. you’re just something special. *looks up at you and laughs softly, batting my lashes playfully * it’s the eyes, is what I’ve been told. doe eyes for me and my babies, makes us impossible to resist.
i can’t wait to see what mar’s personality is going to be like. i want her to be more similar to you than me *laughs a little and shrugs then pouts jokingly when you roll your eyes* heyyy, we can’t help it we’re cute
yeah, maybe.. and if that’s the case then we have to have at least one more kid because I want one who is as in love with me as kai is with you *laughs softly and meets your gaze again after having looked down at makai for a while, blushing some when I notice you were already looking at me* all? you’ve only got two
no, not jealous… just looking for an excuse to have another baby in the future *laughs slightly and almost instantly melts when you call me that, looking up at you with soft eyes and my brows furrowed slightly* don’t start with that
excuses for what? hiding jealousy or genuine excuses for us wanting to have a large family? *keeps my eyes locked on yours for a moment then shrugs, pulling my gaze away as i blush some, letting my hair fall partially in my face* nothin’ , nevermind..
i was messing with you.. *furrows my brow a bit and keeps my gaze down on makai in my arms until you make me look up at you again, pouting slightly as a faint whine catches in my throat, my voice soft as well as my gaze* said don’ start with that
*huffs lightly and mumbles something faintly as i hold makai close, getting up to take him to his room then goes to check on mar*
*comes back after a couple minutes, getting back in bed underneath the covers, curling up a bit and takes my contacts out, putting them in the container at my bedside table* sorry.. if that came off rude
*furrows my brow a little and scoots a tiny bit closer to you, muttering softly* you okay..?
*gasps softly at your actions but quickly buries my face in your chest, nestling into you*
*whimpers faintly into your chest, holding onto you tightly as i try and take deep breaths so i don’t slip or get more anxious than i already am, mumbling an apology*
*tenses more once you let go of me and chews on my lip, looking at you with soft and now sad eyes, wrapping my arms around myself, feeling little*
*nestles my cheek against your chest and shuts my eyes as i try to calm myself back down, hugging your waist* feel small an’ was tryin’ not to..
jus’ tell me you don’ wan’ me to right now? ‘less you do then.. *shrugs a little, picking at the material of your shirt, nibbling on my lip for a second* didn’ wan’ bother you with it
wanna know why you looked ‘set first. don’ wanna see you ‘set. *peeks up at you, keeping myself tucked close* an’ if you don’ tell me i won’ stay small feelin’
not mad at me or- or anythin’? *says with my voice barely even at a whisper, picking at your shirt as i chew on my lip waiting for your response*
*nods a little and cuddles close, chewing on my lip* ‘kay
*slowly starts to relax and gently tugs at your shirt some, looking up at you* wan’ off, please?
*mumbles the word “itchy” about your shirt and waits patiently before snuggling myself up close to you again, relaxing due to being in direct contact with your skin* ‘s warm, daddy
*scoots up a tiny bit so my head is resting on your chest right over your heart, listening to the gentle thumping of it* when daddy an’ mag gon’ open their presents for ‘ch other
*mumbles a soft “oh” then nods some, still listening to the gentle thumping of your heart against your chest*
*smiles small and closes my eyes, relaxing against your side*
*looks up at you for a moment and sees you getting sleepy, frowning a bit to myself as i look back down, chewing on my lip as i trace on your chest quietly*
*shakes my head slowly and buries my face in your chest, hugging onto your torso as i try to stay quiet so you can sleep*
*tries to stay still as best as I can so you’ll fall asleep, occasionally peeking up at you*
*waits to make sure you’re sleeping before carefully crawling out of the bed and grabbing a coloring book and crayons for myself, sitting them down on the floor beside the bed then goes downstairs to get myself some strawberry milk to put in a sippy cup, coming back up to the room*
*peeks up at you from beside the bed and sees you’re still asleep, chewing on my lip for a bit as i color quietly, drinking my milk*
*continues to color on the ground on your side of the bed, not really paying attention as i do*
*hears the sound of the bed and looks up, my eyes lighting up some when you come and sit with me, reaching for one of your hands to wrap your arm around me, still coloring*
*giggles lightly as i blush shyly, drinking my milk and continuing to color, pointing to the top after finishing with that one color, showing where I’m coloring it for you*
*blushes more as i continue feeling shy, finishing the page as i carefully pull it out of the book and set it beside you, mumbling softly* ‘s done
*blushes deeply at the kiss on my cheek and tries finding another one to color, finishing up my milk and setting the sippy cup aside*
*starts to set out the new colors for the new picture and glances over at the sippy cup then back up at you, giving you a hesitant nod*
*smiles shyly as you whisper then nods, getting up once you get up, changing into a much more oversized hoodie, putting the one with Kai’s drool in the laundry bin along with my sweat pants before going to sit and color again, looking up at you when i hear you come back in*
*looks over at you with soft eyes, speaking in a soft and shy voice* wan’ sit on your lap, p’ease..?
*waits patiently and hesitates a little before crawling onto your lap, taking a second to get comfy before starting to drink my milk again and color*
*looks up at you for a moment and asks faintly* daddy wan’ color too? *glances at the bag of pretzels and takes one for myself*
*blushes shyly and nods a little, turning back to look at the coloring page i decided on, working on it again between sips or strawberry milk and bites of pretzels*
*makes a faint sound every time that you do, a constant blush on my cheeks as i continue to color, drink, and snack interchangeably, humming to myself*
*tenses for a brief second as my face flushes once you move your hand to my thigh, moving a bit in your lap as i press my thighs together, trying to focus on coloring*
*squirms a little more and chews on my lip as i try to focus on coloring, letting out a faint whine as you continue, picking up my cup to drink a little more*
*quickly reaches for your hand when you pull it away and places it back on my thigh with another soft whine, still trying to distract myself by coloring* nuh uh
*finishes that coloring page after a little longer and closes the book, packing the crayons up neatly* don’ wanna color no more
*shivers a little as you move your hand to my inner thigh, biting my lip before looking up at you with a pout, deciding whether or not to move your hand further up or away from my thigh* daddy, don’ tease
*tries to calm myself down, having already gotten a little wet from not having gotten relief before, pressing my thighs together for a moment as i scoot off your lap, putting the coloring book and crayons away in the bin beside the bed*
*comes back over to you after putting the things up, sitting there as i fidget with my hoodie, picking up the picture I made for you, setting it on your nightstand*
*scoots a little closer to you and glances down at your lips for a moment before leaning in to kiss you gently, still fidgeting with the hem of my hoodie*
*sits directly in front of you, kissing you again gently, feeling a little more relaxed*
*shrugs a little and starts playing with the drawstrings of my hoodie* dunno, daddy
*shrugs a little once again and leans forward to peck your lips again gently before reaching up to play with your hair some*
*moves onto your lap and continues playing with your hair gently, making tiny braids*
*blushes gently and giggles, giving you a small nod as i continue playing with your hair* mhmm
*stops after a little while then looks at you with a smile before leaning into you and hiding my face in your neck, snuggling close*
*wraps my legs around your torso and keeps holding onto you that way, acting more clingy than usual when im little*
*squeals faintly when you grip my waist, not expecting it then settles again, keeping myself pressed close as i start s—cking on my thumb*
*peeks up at you at the sound of your voice, looking at you with adoration*
*blushes bright pink at your words and giggles around my thumb, thinking for a second before giving a tiny shrug, still staying as close to you as i can whilst using my free hand to grab my sippy cup, drinking some more*
*blushes a little more at your compliment and moves my cup away for a second to speak* daddy wan’ look a’ pacis where? *goes back to drinking my milk, resting against you*
*thinks for a minute then looks up at you with soft eyes, speaking in a soft voice* wan’ go ‘side an’ see
*nods a little, looking up at you* all ready
*nods a tiny bit as i get off your lap then stands up, stretching a little*
*goes to put my shoes on as well, chewing on my lip out of habit*
hm.
we can? up to you
main problem?
okay, so I want to start with a question: how do you think I treat you? like… how loved do you feel by me?
what’s that mean?
oh
im just… sad? like i want to be able to say the same
responded under yours
max, i understand anxiety, i do… but this has been going on for so much longer than just “lately”, yknow? i just hold my tongue and try to push through, but it hurts. because it makes me feel incredibly inadequate and just like… I dunno
i dunno… i just want to be able to feel loved. as loved as i make you feel, and as important as i try to make you feel. i guess that’s the right way to word it? i dunno
then do it… please. because I’m tired of feeling not good enough or that I’m a bother or boring to you or whatever.
but also, promise me you’ll also be there for diana and her daughter more…please. even if it’s only that you have a “delilah day” once or twice a month where you just spend all of your time with her and diana, yknow?
i don’t think you’ll ever lose me, but… i just want to feel like you’re still into me/interested in me
but I trust that you’ll try and make adjustments. because let me be honest, the goal isn’t to “change you” i just want my old max back
please!- i mean… yeah, you can. i’d really like that..
*takes slow steps over to you, hesitating a little for fear of bursting out crying, slowly making my way into your arms*
*takes a second to get used to it before clinging onto you tightly and burying my face in your chest*
*grips onto your shirt as well as having my arms wrapped around you tightly, trembling just a little*
*feels tears sting my eyes as i keep myself pressed close and hidden almost, chewing my lip for a bit before whispering “i love you more”*
*slowly starts to relax a little despite trembling a tiny bit, peeking up at you after a minute to pucker my lips, reaching up some on my tip toes*
*closes my eyes after a moment and kisses you slowly, feeling myself relaxing almost completely*
*feels my face flush a little as i feel a sense of warmth and some butterflies, resting my head against your shoulder for a moment as i start to smile some*
*reaches up on my tip goes to peck your lips lightly, still blushing some as i listen to you, whispering back a gentle “i love you” then takes a moment before whispering “and im sorry..”*
no.. that’s not true. i was being a b—ch. could i have been worse and said a lot more…probably, but that would not have done any good. and i feel like sh— for talking to achilles about everything, i didn’t expect him to say anything *starts rambling a bit more, working myself up unintentionally* im just pushy, i think? and that’s not fair to you. and saying i don’t give my all? that was uncalled for.. and then other things recently- i just.. i always mess things up when they’re going just fine
*furrows my brow a little at you to begin with then relaxes the more I listen, maintaining eye contact with you the entire time and starts to tear up a little, speaking just at a whisper and my voice cracking some* but are YOU happy? because it won’t work unless all of us are happy.
that’s my biggest worry, fxxk everything else. i want you and our kids happy. but especially you. i mean, up until meeting you i raised a now 5 year old on my own so I’m pretty confident that I know how to make them happy and all if it came down to it but… i just worry that i, personally, am not making you as happy as you should be… that’s all
i know they do, but if you say that i do as well then… ive not for any reason to not believe you
*fidgets with my fingers for a moment as i look down, chewing on my lip as I think then looks back up at you, pressing a light kiss to your cheek after meeting your gaze* i love you. and thank you.
i can’t wait to see what is in store for us this year
on a scale of 1-10, what is the likelihood of you going to sleep soon?
mmm, okay noted
asking because I don’t wanna be a bother or anything if you’re about to go to bed
no, you are (;
heh, i saw the opportunity and i took it <3 handsomest baby daddy a girl could ask for
oops 🙊 sorry
‘cept im not really sorry cause you’re even more handsome when you blush
like howwwwww
but what wayyyyy
): tell me
it could be two different ways )): technically it could be three
1) you feel like daddy, 2) you feel little, 3) you’re getting turned on
mmm, i am a bit anxious when it comes to both of those things at the momentttttt due to last time, not gonna lie
yeah (,:
sorry again )):
ehhh, i feel like i definitely do though
and i might later
why do you say that? like why do you think I don’t have anything to apologize for?
andddd only gonna post if you do too
so then how is it your fault? or whose fault is it?
good point, however in my head it’ll still be mine & i think I’ll always be kicking myself for opening up a little lol
):
🥺 good morningggg
i didn’t (:
just couldn’t sleep, forrrrrr reasons i don’t care to share at the moment
mhm, however now I’m mad at you (:
calling me baby bear and with me being tired = a crime
you know im joking, right…? i adore when you call me that but having butterflies erupt in my tummy this “early” in the morning was a new experience
okay, i can’t be too sure anymore
i love you moreeee
we shouldddd, we should (: have you got any suggestions?
we can definitely do that, the kids will love it. i’ll have to try and think of other things we can do with them. but you don’t have to pay for everything baby, that’s a lot especially if we do more than just lunch and ice cream
only if you’re sure ):
okay, well the kids are already awake and playing in the living room. we’ve just gotta get them and ourselves properly dressed then we can head out
okay, if you need help with her let me know? its a whole workout trying to get that girl ready *laughs a little and nods, going to the living room with you*
k: *plays with his toys with mar and looks up at you, grinning sleepily* hi daddy // m: *whines a little as you pick her up from where she was crawling, looking up at you as she squirms a little, babbling* // mm, alrighttttt. let me know how it goes. *looks at makai* okay bubba, let’s clean up your toys then get dressed. mommy and daddy are gonna take you and sissy out for a fun day
m: *grips your shirt as you hold her, still babbling to herself* // k: *cleans up the few toys he has out then goes to his room* // *helps him clean then holds his hand as we walk to his room *
m: *babbles and squirms the whole time, crying when you start to change her, but is soothed easily by just watching you* // *helps makai get dressed and refreshes his curls as he brushes his teeth*
m: *kicks her legs still as she babbles, her hand in her mouth* // *checks makai to make sure he brushed good then kisses his head, catching sight of you and mar through the mirror, smiling widely* oh, look how cute you are, princess ! daddy did such a good job, and barely any fussing *goes over and kisses her cheek a few times*
*smiles softly then turns back to makai, wiping his face off then smiles, looking up at you* and makai picked his outfit all by himself today. he did a good job, right? // k: *giggles shyly and leans against my leg, hugging it* // m: *squeals when you kiss her cheek and keeps babbling softly*
m: *rests against you as she babbles, s—king on her hand // *reaches into a drawer in the bathroom and grabs one of her pacifiers, replacing her hand with it* i think we’ve for a daddy’s girl on our hands *picks up makai, holding him on my lip* hey bubba, wanna help mommy pick out that to wear? // k: *nods, holding on* mhm!
okay *smiles softly and goes to our room with makai, playing music on my phone so he can sing with me as we get dressed*
*gets dressed and keeps him occupied as mar babbles along with you, giggling*
*comes out with makai in a piggyback ride, still singing with him as he laughs*
tell daddy this is our daily routine, dance party and karaoke when we get dressed *kisses his cheek and smiles* // k: *giggles and stops the music* mhm! // m: *turns and looks at the sound of the music, still babbling*
k: is fun!! *giggles happily and goes over to you after being set down, kissing mar on the head* // *pulls up my jeans and fixes my shirt some, smiling as i watch him* look at that. the three loves of my life
*blushes a little and shakes my head some, going over to the three of you to kiss mar’s cheek as well as makai’s* mm, thank you i suppose
*blushes more under your gaze and walks off to grab the keys and the bag i take with me for the kids* // k: *nods excitedly and grins* yes yes! // m: *hears his excitement and kicks her legs a little, babbling again*
k: *hurries to the garage door and opens it, holding it for you and mar* // *smiles softly and bends down to kiss his cheek* you’re such a little gentleman, bubba *unlocks the car and opens it for you to put mar in, putting her baby bag on the floor between their two seats*
k: *runs over to his side of the car and climbs in, trying to buckle himself into his car seat* // hey hey, there’s no rush *gently moves his hands after coming over to him, fastening it for him* :/ m: *babbles and s—ks on her fingers as she watches you closely*
*goes to open my door but stops when you do, blushing some* oh- thank you *smiles softly and gets in, setting the keys on the center console for you once in buckled in*
*checks on the kids and puts on some music for them but keeps the volume low enough to where we can still hear each other, watching you* have you got an idea of where we’ll eat at, babe?
*nods a little and looks through my phone, muttering softly* makai isn’t a picky eater and mar still isn’t the best with solids so anywhere you want to go is fine with me // k: *sings the words to the song playing as best as he can, playing with the toy he always leaves on the car*
i mean.. it depends on if you want to sit down and eat with them or if you want to do a grab and go situation, baby *looks back over at you then at my phone, starting to look places up*
*peeks back at the kids to make sure they’re alright then turns back ahead, nodding some* well… we can always just do a place like ihop or denny’s, there’s a couple of buffets nearby, we could go to buffalo wild wings… up to you *lists things off as i look at my phone and things that are nearby*
okay, that’s then place to go then *nods a little and watches out of the window as you drive, glancing back at the kids every now and then*
m: *plays with her plushie and babbles to herself still // k: *continues listening to the music and watches out of the window*
k: *gets excited again and puts his toy down, quickly trying to get out of his seat* yay!! // *laughs softly and unbuckles then goes to mar’s side, grabbing the baby bag and gets mar out in the car carrier, holding it on my arm*
*waits for you and heads over to the door of the restaurant, getting the door open and holding it* // k: *holds your hand and tries pulling you towards the door* daddy, hurry!
*giggles softly as i watch the two of you, blushing as i try and kiss you back quickly, walking in close behind you, telling the hostess we’d like to be seated near the back* // k: *holds onto your hand still after coming inside and waits with us to be seated*
*sits on once side of the booth with mar in her carrier beside me* // k: *climbs into the booth and pats beside him with a grin* here, daddy!
k: *looks at the kids menu they brought him and points to one of the breakfast items then looks up at you* wan’ this one an’ apple juice, daddy. // *smiles softly as i glance up at the two of you then looks through the menu as well*
k: *leans against your arm and nods, giggling softly as he looks up at you fondly* // *watches the two of you for a moment and smiles to myself, deciding on what I want*
k: *squints his eyes a little as he looks at what you’re getting then smiles* mhm! // *sets my menu aside and gets my wrap out from the baby bag, draping it across my lap before checking on mar, smiling a bit* babygirl is taking a little nap, it seems. i’ll have to feed her when she wakes up though.. hopefully she’ll start taking from the bottle soon as well as eat solids
it’ll make things a lot easier *nods some and chews my lip absentmindedly* // k: *stays leaned against your arm as he does some of the activities on the menu with the crayons they gave him*
*looks up at you when you do, watching you for a moment* // k: *continues with the activities*
kai, i bet you could totally beat daddy at tic-tac-toe *smiles softly as i watch him* what do you think? // k: *perks up a bit and grins, pushing a crayon over to you and looks up at you* wan’ try?
k: *makes the first mark using the ‘x’ and looks up at you when it’s your turn* // *orders whenever the waitress comes over, having taken note of what you both wanted as well*
k: *looks for a second then makes another ‘x’ and giggles* // *watches the two of you and smiles softly, hearing mar start to wake up and puts the wrap around myself as i pick her up* hi baby girl
*makes sure I’m covered completely and adjusts myself so i can start breastfeeding her, sighing a bit as i watch the two of you* // k: *makes another “x” and it blocks you from getting 3 in a row and the waitress brings the food for us all*
*thanks her also and giggles softly at your actions, going ahead and asking for a box for mine as i continue to feed mar, checking my phone* // k: *waits patiently and then starts eating*