so today i had work and last week i was at a fair, but this week is when the event actually started. it was kind of underwhelming, there weren’t a lot of kids where i was and i was only in costume for an hour or two. so then when i got home, i was planning on going to this mexican restaurant with my friends to celebrate cinco de mayo, bc this restaurant always has a huge party and it’s rlly fun

but when i got home, i realized i didn’t have my bag with a lot of my stuff in it bc it was at my dads house and i‘m at my moms. so i didn’t get my bag (which i needed) until like 7:30. i was supposed to go to the party at like 6. and also, i had a rehearsal for dance at 8:30 (it would only take 10 mins) but by 7:30 i didn’t want to go for an hour, leave, and come back

so then i just decided i’d go after dance, which would give me like 2 hours with my friends. but then i was sitting in my room crying bc i was stressed from changing all my plans around, and i was really tired from working all day, and i just decided i didn’t want to go

then i texted my best friend, and i told her i wasn’t gonna go bc it was too stressful and i was rlly tired and she just said “yeah we figured” and that just made me really mad. idk how to explain why i was mad, but i was just so angry that that was all she said

anyways, then i sat and cried a lot more and listened to music. my mom brought me dinner and i ate alone in my room and cried some more. i was really sad

so i went to dance, i was there for 10 minutes and then my mom and i left. and on the way home, i started feeling like i just wanted to go for a drive. like that feeling where you don’t want to go anywhere specific, you just kinda want to go. i’ve had this feeling before and it’s so nice but when you don’t go anywhere it sucks

i told my mom i was feeling this way, and she was like “well it’s late and i’m tired so i’m not driving” and i got really sad again. for a while i felt good again after having a kind of bad day and then it went down the drain

so we went home and i was crying a lot. and when we got home i just cried and cried in the car, and my mom didn’t know what to do so she helped me walk inside and now i’m laying on the porch with my dog, i’m still crying and i’m listening to the 1975 and being depressed

and also, we live rlly close to that restaurant where the party is and i can hear the music and it’s making me angry and sad and i just hate the world

💜💜💜💜💜💜

I’m sorry :(