I'm ranting again

I feel bad for wanting to see people's scars because I know they don't like showing them, but other people's scars fascinate me as much as my own do. I want to see how much emotion and pain was put into them, it's terrible. I'm so messed up but I like to see pictures of people's scars, when I see other people post about them I could stare for hours. even though blood causes me to pass out I don't feel that way about scars? it depends on how deep they are and if they're still bleeding but idk. I feel like maybe other people might feel the same way, I've kinda wanted to show people my scars before, but not in a way to gain attention. my friend has asked me before to see them and I've showed her, and she's shown me hers. the only bad thing is someone else saw her scars and told the school counselor and I hate that counselor, everyone does. I would never want to have to talk to her again, she's terrible. I hope no one else has to.

lmàø you thought I was done

okay so I don't know why people come to me for help because I'm just barely holding myself together and other people expect me to hold them together too. it's not that I don't like people ranting to me, I love listening to people but as soon as they start talking about serious stuff I get so anxious and scared and I don't know why. it's a little terrifying to have someone text you "can we talk?" and not know what their going to say at all.

I'm waiting for someone to reply to me right now, and I'm kinda scared. I'm actually hèlla scared but oh well let's talk about fun things now I need distractions. so on the 20th I'm having some friends come over to celebrate my birthday and we're going to get fro yo and roller skate and it's going to be fun so I think I want to vlog it? and my best friend is staying the night (hopefully) and I want to make a video of just me and her doing a game or a challenge or something I don't know yet. I might like a best friend tag or whatever and do that. of course I won't tag anyone but it will still be fun.