I agree with this too but also if someone’s lover isn’t their best friend and closest person in their life then they’re doing something wrong. a lot of people nowadays see “finding someone” as synonymous with “finding someone to f” instead of “finding a life partner.” life partners can be friends too, but romantic connections are stronger because you’re together in body and mind, unless it’s just senseless physical stuff.

but I also could read this from the perspective of my old best friend too which isn’t good because she started ignoring me, not speaking to me much, but st the same time being angry about Tristin and bullying him when he finally made a mistake. I’d given her a second chance way before we started dating and I think she’d previously liked him so she was mad at us; their families had even hung out! but now I have my best buds Jeremy and Maureen. Maureen still made time for me and hung out with me, she paid attention and I did all the same for her. some people truly are left behind by who they thought were friends and then other people are jealous and self centered and don’t want you to be happy :(

but this is me when I see people shipping joshler

Carmen and Emilia didn’t talk for the rest of the day or tomorrow. They only had two classes and lunch together but each time they sat on opposite sides of the room. “ What’s going on with you and Carmen?” Emilia’s friend, Isla asked her. “ We’re having a fight.” Emilia answered truthfully. “ Is it okay if we don’t talk about it?” “ Of course.” Isla returned to her seat. Emilia could hear her chatting with her twin cousins, Zemaron and Josiah. Laughter drifting towards her as Emilia sunk into her chair. She tried her best to not stare at Carmen. Carmen was doing the same as she ran her fingers through her sleek hair. The choker on her neck irritated the bites but covered them up. She stared confused at her French homework. It would’ve made more sense if Emilia was helping her out. Carmen was glued to her seat. There was no way she was walking over, Emilia would’ve laughed at her for pretending nothing happened. “ Note to self;” Carmen wrote down in her diary late at night. “ Eat a French person.” She dropped the pen and picked up her phone. Carmen: hey Carmen: U awake? Emi:Yeah Carmen: Sorry about yesterday. I overreacted Emi: It’s Okay now. Honest. I shouldn’t have pushed you. Carmen: you were just .. She sat there, trying to find the right word. Carmen: concerned Emi: I guess Emi: Are we still on for coffee Carmen: definitely Carmen invited Emilia over for dinner. Mr. and Mrs. Perri cooked steak for themselves and Carmen. Emilia had a salad. “ I know you’re a vegetarian, dear.” “ Mom, Emilia is a pescatarian.” Mr. Perri wiped away at his mouth. “ A what?” “ It means I don’t eat any meat except for fish.” “ Oh we should do that.” Mrs. Perri swatted at her husband’s shoulder. “ What do you think, Paul.” “ As if Carmen could give up meat.” “ As if I’m not right here.” Carmen said sharply. Her parents ignored her. Emilia ended up spending the night. She hopped onto to Carmen’s bed and kicked her worn out jeans off. Carmen didn’t ask if she wanted pajamas, knowing Emilia would just sleep in her mauve hoodie. Carmen was the one who got Emilia that hoodie, after five years it actually fit. They met the year before. Carmen had just moved to town. At eleven years old, she was ashamed of the braces she wore and the haircut done by her mother. It was too short and choppy. Emilia was nearly a year younger than Carmen. They met though Isla, who used to be Carmen’s neighbor. And now here they were. Emilia snoring, drool dripping onto Carmen’s pillow as Carmen gazed at her. She brushed through Emilia’s soft straight caramel brown hair that turned dark and curly at the top. Her leg was swung over Emilia’s hip . Carmen noticed how much paler her skin was compared to Emilia’s. They used to be the same shade. How much had changed? Carmen dwelled on her thoughts until she drifted off to sleep.

A week passed without Carmen giving into her urges until Thursday night. “ Did you hear? Ellen Dubroi is dead.” Ellie Fitzenger stopped Carmen in the hallway. “Oh no.” Carmen faked sympathy. “ What happened?” “ Same thing as Pete’s dad.” Ellie rubbed her arm. “ Now I feel bad for harassing her so much.” “ You didn’t know this was going to happen.” But Carmen did. “ Besides she was a senior and you’re a freshman, it probably didn’t bother her.” “ That doesn’t make sense but okay.” Ellie moved away as Emilia rushed towards Carmen. “ Did you hear what happened?” “Ellie already told me.” The bell rang and interrupted their conversation. Carmen had a relatively normal day until she got home. Once she knew for sure her parents weren’t home, she took a deep breath and screamed. Today marked the date of Carmen and Emilia’s... well, date. Carmen was absolutely unprepared. How do dates work? What was she supposed to wear? Did Emilia expect her to pay the bill or would they split? Carmen needed to find a manual. Carmen picked up Emilia at her house. The floral dress Emilia wore hung off her shoulders, exposing the scar she got after Carmen convinced her to slide down the staircase in sixth grade. “ You look cute.” Carmen drove slowly down the road. “ So do you.” Emilia held her hands together on top of her lap. “ Isla told me this place was really good. She said it was like a family shop.” “ Meaning?” Carmen was expecting a nice, quiet place; Not to have a bunch of families with loud children crowding them. “ It’s run by this woman and her daughter.” Emilia rephrased. “ I know you don’t do well with kids.” Bludin Cafe was the first floor of a two story blue building. The door to the staircase was labeled restricted. Mrs. Bludin was taking care of the counter as her daughters worked in the kitchen and as waitress respectively. Carmen and Emilia ordered their coffee and sat in the back of the room. A tall, buff girl brought their coffee to them. Her name tag read “ Kayla”. As soon as Kayla left, Emilia whispered into Carmen’s ear. “ Isn’t she cute?” “ Yeah, I guess.” “ She’s in my grade. I know she asked out Charles.” Emilia sipped her coffee, flinching at how hot it was. “ Don’t know what he said.” “ You mean that chubby blonde guy?” Carmen frowned. “I would’ve never pegged him as not gay.” “ I know right.” Emilia reached over and switched her black coffee with Carmen’s ice mocha. “Can I at least taste my drink?” Emilia handed the ice mocha back to Carmen. One sip was all it took for Carmen to grimace. “ Too sweet.” “Yeah, you’re already sweet.” Emilia grinned at Carmen’s blush. Outside the clouds grew gray. Kayla informed the girls to go back home unless they wanted to deal with the rain. “ So are the checks separate or together?” “ Together.” Emilia paid. Carmen started up her car, knowing Emilia asked for hot cocoa to take home. “ Where to now?” “My place. Ethan isn’t home.” “ Oh cool, we can hold a cult meeting.” Emilia snorted at Carmen’s statement, spoken in a deadpan tone. The rain poured down heavily by the time they reached Emilia’s house. Thunder clapped in the distance. Emilia took Carmen by the hand and ran inside. “ What do you wanna do now?” Emilia swayed, hands clasped behind her back. The hot cocoas set down on the coffee table. “ We could watch a movie.” Carmen suggested. “ Like an old black and white one.” Emilia sifted through dvds until pulling one out. “ It’s in French but it has subtitles.” “ That’ll do.” Carmen tossed an old red blanket onto the sofa. She sprawled across, refusing to move which forced Emilia to sit on her legs. After a half hour, Emilia laid on top of Carmen underneath the blanket. Carmen’s arm was wrapped around her waist. The storm had died down, the rain now dripping softly. Carmen brushed her thumb against Emilia’s chin in order to turn her focus away from the movie. She leaned in and kissed Emilia. Emilia pulled away. Carmen looked at her in worry. “ What’s wrong?” “ Your teeth? They’re sharp.” Emilia placed two fingers against Carmen’s lips, causing them to open and fully reveal her teeth. “ I knew I wasn’t imagining them.” Carmen stepped back and closed her mouth shut. She ran out the backdoor in a panic. “ Carmen, wait!” Emilia shouted. Carmen kept running, her new sneakers slapping against the pavement. Emilia chased after Carmen. Carmen glanced behind her shoulder and upon seeing Emilia, cut towards the forest. Oak trees rose high into the sky, glimpses of sunlight shining through their leaves. The leaves and twigs crunched underneath the girl’s feet. Emilia cursed as mud coated her pink slip ons. Carmen was getting further and further away. Crash. Carmen misstepped and fell into a ditch. It was shallow enough to crawl out except she had twisted her ankle. She cried out in pain, rubbing her ankle. In a few minutes, Emilia had caught up with her. Without saying anything, she lifted Carmen onto her back and carried her out of the forest, back to Emilia’s house. “ So..” Emilia ripped off the bandaid. “ What was that about?” “ You said my teeth were,” Carmen exhaled. “ My teeth were sharp.” “ Sorry. I won’t mention it again.” Emilia’s eyes filled with confusion. “ It’s okay. I shouldn’t have overreacted.” “ You didn’t. “ Emilia brushed a curl past her ear, not looking Carmen in the eye. “ It was clearly a touchy subject.” “ Yeah, you could say that.” Carmen’s shoulders sunk low. “ I know there’s something wrong with me. But I don’t know- I don’t wanna know what.” “ Carmen..” Emilia’s voice trailed off. “ It’s getting late.” “ Yeah.” Carmen looked out the window to see a violet sunset. “ I should get going.” Once Carmen got home, she opened up her computer and looked up “ Vampire signs.” The first result was a blog from a few years ago. 1. Sharp teeth. That was a check for Carmen. 2. Avoiding garlic and religious symbols. Carmen wasn’t religious and never ate garlic. 3. A taste for blood. Carmen licked her lips, now in the mood to bite again. Really, she had a taste for more than just blood. Carmen skimmed through the rest of the list. She fit most of the criteria. It was clear to her , no matter how much she didn’t want to admit it. Carmen ignored her thoughts as she climbed out her window.