so my brother has a bunch of his friends over and they’re hanging out and stuff which is all fine and good but it’s making me sad cuz it’s reminding me of all the reasons i was so lonely last year and made a completely serious claim that i had no friends. i almost never text my irl friends. like ever. the only times i do is to ask about homework or something. that’s just the way it’s been. other people (like my brother and his friends) have group chats and things with their friends and they text all the time and they hang out over the summer so they can keep in touch and stuff. i almost never hang out with my friends. even during the school year. so i especially don’t see them during the summer. we don’t even fûcking text. i feel like my friends don’t give a shît about me when we’re not in school cuz that’s the only time i ever hang out with them. please don’t tell me to just start texting them more often and be more outgoing cuz that’s all bullshît to me. i can’t do that. too much anxiety. and that’s why i can’t say all this to my mom like i normally would cuz she’d give me all this bullshît advice and only makes me feel worse cuz it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me and that i’m broken cuz i can’t do such simple things that are so easy to normal, social people and i guess that’s all true but i don’t need to be reminded of it. wow this got off track lol welp anyway i low key hate my friends cuz they don’t seem to care about me and i’m trying to console myself by being like “i don’t need anyone, i don’t need any friends, i’m fine all by myself” but the problem is that this past school year was the best year of my life and i think it’s cuz i had my friends in my classes. otherwise i’m pretty sure it would’ve been just like last year (i didn’t have any classes with my friends and they would talk about project and teachers and i couldn’t join in the conversations cuz they wouldn’t care what i had to say cuz i had different teachers) so i know in the back of my mind that my friend make me happy so maybe i really do need them. but that sûcks. ugh idk i’m just lonely and sad. thanks for reading this i guess. i’m sorry

as i was writing that my brother passed me and said “you look sad” lm a o

you guys don’t have to read this it’s pathetic and lame whatever nothing even matters anyway so fûck my friends i’m fine by myself

i mean i know i’m not but shut up practical side of myself and let me have hope lol

i’m fine by myself and if i say it enough then i’ll start to believe it

fûck i’m still sad. once i start feeling sad it doesn’t stop nooooo

aw no emi I’m so sorry :( feeling like this sucks and I can relate 100% so know that you’re definitely not alone when you feel like this. I hope you start to feel better soon and if you want to I’ll always be here to talk 💜💜

I understand. that was me when I first moved here. I hope you feel better soon. I’ll pray for you, dude. I’m always here to talk and if you want you can like

sleep under my bed

I’m sorry. I’m going through something very similar, so I can’t really give you any advice. I’ll let you know if I think of something. I hope you start to feel better💕

Re: Yes same! I relate to that.

I'm sorry you have to feel that way. I feel like that sometimes except I wonder if I'm a bad friend. Yeah I'm not going to push the 'just talk to them' thing on you because I know how that feels. So instead, do whatever you are comfortable with. If they're good friends, they'll make an effort to talk to you. If not than there are better people out there.

💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

no no noooo how you feel is very valid and you're not alone, I promise

I spent most of my life feeling that way. Talking to people is hard. Reaching out is awkward and terrifying. I know. And while it's always good to step out of your comfort zone, don't let anyone push you if you're not ready. And I promise with all of my heart that you WILL find people who care about you in a different way, in the "I miss her so much when we don't talk" kinda way. It will take patience and strength, but it will come.

But remember, just because they don't always text you doesn't mean they don't care. I have friends from high school and we only talk when we're all on break from college, we don't really text each other (at least they don't text me). But we still have fun catching up when we see each other. Some people just aren't good at keeping in touch that way. And it's okay.

You don't have to isolate yourself to be happy. That never works. Just be patient and keep being yourself. I know it's hard now. We're all here for you. ❤

(reply) Of course. I'm glad I can help. You can talk to me or rant on PC any time you want. I've found this is one of the most supportive and kind places to share things like this. ❤

thank you!!💕